1- Make realistic commitments. Whether you are dealing with friends, family, significant others, or coworkers, resist the compulsion to please everyone all the time. Only promise time and devotion to people if and when you know you can deliver. Since drama may build up when people think you are “failing” them, clearly define your availability on a case-by-case basis right from the start. Let each person know exactly how much they can expect of you and when, and no more.
2- Balance the people in your life. The more people you include in your life, the more conflict you will have when it comes to scheduling your time. As you make new commitments to new people, incorporate them into your schedule so that no one else feels slighted by any perceived lack of attention. This may mean that you are less available overall for any given person, so be sure that you still make time for them regularly, if not as frequently as you have in the past.
3- Refrain from making assumptions. A lot of drama results from miscommunication or no communication at all. Of course, it is impossible to know everything all the time, so when someone upsets you, feel free to ponder the reasons why they acted as they did. Just be sure to clearly divide what you know for sure versus what you merely speculate. Only act on what you definitely know to be fact. If you’re going to assume anything, always assume that your assumptions may turn out to be flat-out wrong in the end.
4- Be wary of gossip. Don’t put too much stock in what other people tell you about events that you haven’t witnessed for yourself. People aren’t necessarily going to lie to you, but recognize that the “truth” may mutate from one person’s telling to the next. Accept other people’s versions as their own interpretations of what really happened, but resist passing your own judgment based on other people’s accounts.
5- Know when to keep quiet. Although drama is so often the result of poor communication, oversharing the truth can be just as bad. Be honest and forthcoming when you speak with people, but know when to hold the truth back. If you anticipate that someone would be hurt by what you have to say, ask yourself if hearing it would be beneficial to them in the long run. If not, keep it to yourself.
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