Things you can do to overcome challenges

3:56:27

2024-07-30

940

Believe in yourself, even when others don't. Albert Ellis was a pioneer in the field of cognitive behavioral interventions. Albert Bandura later provided a virtual formula for helping people develop a sense of self-agency. He called it self-efficacy. He argued what you believe about yourself matters. If you believe you are flawed, you will behave as if it is so. On the other hand, you can adopt a belief in your own agency any time you decide to do so. Focus on your strength. Don't waste time on your weaknesses.
Surround yourself with supportive people. Don’t listen to those who tell you, “You can’t.” My mother, like my father, refused to see my challenges with learning as insurmountable obstacles. Perhaps it was the blind love of a parent that led them to denial. But they believed in me and never stopped believing in me. That support does not have to come from a parent, it can come from anyone. The brilliant research of Albert Bandura and others has shown just how motivating and energizing having someone believe in you can be. Even Cicero noted friends multiply happiness and divide sadness.
Understand there is no such thing as one-trial learning. Your greatest successes will only come after some of your greatest failures. So, reframe failures as opportunities that will take you closer to your goals.
Speaking of goals, sometimes it’s ok to not know where you are going. It’s been said the shortest route between two places in a straight line. While that’s true, it may not be the most effective. John Krumboltz’s “happenstance theory” argues the best preparation may be preparing yourself for the opportunities you do not know exist. Happenstance may take you on a circuitous route rather than a straight route. Happenstance has defined my entire professional life and allowed me to be a pioneer in four different fields. The key is to keep moving, keep growing. The fields of business, leadership, psychoneurophysiology, public health, and clinical psychology all came together for me.
Fortitude is far more powerful than aptitude in most endeavors. So be tenacious. Those who quit will never know how close they came to success. If the front door will not open for you, use the back door. The key is access. With access comes the potential for success.
Your “lodestar” should always be life is a journey, not a destination. Remember that anything worth having is worth failing for and that if you don’t shape your future, you will be forced to endure the future someone else designs for you. My father refused to allow my counselor to design my future. I refused to allow my advisors to design my future. I focused on what I could do, not what I could not do. You can do the same. And this is the lesson I hope my grandchildren will learn.

While these aforementioned tactics and strategies may seem unique to me and to the learning challenges I faced, in actuality they are not. Upon closer examination you will find these recommendations are generically applicable and will help just about anyone get from where you are to where you want to be.