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2024-07-20 
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Having a close group of confidants is not something that just happens. It takes time and effort. Moreover, it’s not something that people will automatically recognize as being a virtue upon becoming teenagers or adults. Children have to see how valuable these relationships can be if they are going to grow into people who appreciate emotional investments and take them seriously. It’s a lesson they learn as though by osmosis as they watch the adults by whom they are surrounded (not just their parents, but extended family, neighbors, clergy, coworkers, and friends) benefit from having close friends and a strong community.
This does not require explicit teaching, but it does demand an environment where social bonds are conspicuously valued. Conversely, these lessons can’t be taught when the entire family is staring at the screen of a computer or smartphone for almost all their waking hours.
As much as Ortega y Gasset’s notion of ensimismarse is a necessary part of problem-solving and something that is conducted in private, it is not necessarily done in solitude. Having friends, colleagues, and mentors who can engage in reciprocity of counsel and an exchange of ideas is vital to psychological wellness. Outsourcing these crucial relationships to social media flattens one of the most enjoyable parts of the human experience. Moreover, it sends the wrong message to children, since the more we normalize this kind of behavior, the more likely it will be that our children will look into the house of mirrors that is the internet for validation, moral support, and a sense of identity.
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