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Parents must strike a balance between giving freedom to their children and placing restrictions on them. Children whose parents overprotect them are deprived of the experience of life, and cannot acquire the necessary techniques to protect themselves and to think quickly if things go wrong.
Parents with a sense of responsibility make sure to always know the whereabouts of their children and the people who accompany them. All children are taught that “a stranger is a danger,” and they watch on television daily depictions of real victims.
Not only are parents no longer aware of their children's fears, but they themselves begin to feel angry and helpless in the face of questions like these:
• How do you explain to your children that the next world war will not destroy them? Is there a difference if this war is taking place on the other side of the globe? Children know that nuclear war will leave no hope of survival.
• How can you monitor what your children watch on television so that they do not see extremely terrifying real-life events in which a war, a violent crime, or a natural disaster appears?
•How can you go jogging at six in the morning if there is no other adult at home?
How can you dispel your child's fear if you yourself do not have the answers to these questions? I wish I had the answer and could give it to you in this book. Instead, I will try to present the basic concepts that psychotherapists have learned about the causes of fear, ways to express it, and means of treating it.
Behavior is a middle path between allowing children to take risks and protecting them from any harm that poses a challenge to parents, but children need to learn to protect themselves. This learning comes from taking risks and succeeding in them, and from making mistakes and correcting them the next time.
Children who are confident in their ability to handle stressful events and challenges they face in life are less susceptible to fear.
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