3:52:21 
2023-09-15 
475
Think for a moment about your father. Perhaps you did not know him well, or perhaps you never knew him, or perhaps you have years of precious memories. What has your father's presence or absence taught you about being a man? About values? About love and family? If your memories of your father bother you, how would you like to change your past if you had the opportunity?
The great thing about raising your child is that it allows you both to share the best parts of your special childhood and perhaps give your child what you once could not have.
Work, money and values
Children are always making decisions. They observe what is happening around them and then decide what to do to find belonging and connectedness. Children do not automatically imitate the behavior and values of their parents. Rather, they are people who think and feel and must decide for themselves what is good in life.
However, your choices, actions, and values are the vertical line your child uses to measure what is important in life. If you work long hours, for whatever reason, your child will make decisions about work, family, and your priorities. If you are competing with colleagues, family, and neighbors to have the biggest house, the most beautiful boat, and the newest car, your son will decide whether he agrees with you or not. If you tell your son that you value honesty, but he hears you calling in to work, calling in sick to go skiing, or bragging about how you managed to avoid taxes, he will make his own decisions about ethics...and about you.
• Facts
Researchers at the University of California spent four years following 32 families in which both parents worked and had at least two children. They discovered that these families were in the same room only 16% of the time. They also found that family members in five of these families were never in the same room. One father spent time with his children on a regular basis.
The best way to find out what your child decides to do about life and how to live it is to spend time listening to him and building a strong bond with him. Children are gifted observers and rely more on nonverbal messages than on words. The phrase “Do as I ask you, not as I do” does not work with children (especially teenagers). Do you remember the list of qualities and characteristics that you want your son to have? It is wise to stop from time to time and consider whether your behavior and choices reinforce these qualities. But the good news is that mistakes are not fatal, but rather are wonderful opportunities to learn.
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