Learn to listen

7:42:18

2023-09-05

2004

Most parents are really good at talking. In fact, parents talk and talk and wonder why it seems like no one is listening

Really listening to your son is one of the best encouraging things you can do for him and one of the best ways to build his sense of belonging and connection. When you listen to him very carefully (this does not mean that you hear him while you're making dinner or driving the car) you know that you care about him and that you want to know what he's thinking, what he feels, and what he decides to do.

Think of someone you would be pleased to talk to. What does this person do that allows you to feel understood and cared for? It is likely that he looks at you and encourages you and does not look at his watch every thirty seconds.

Many of the messages that we send to those we love are silent messages, that is, they are messages that we send without words, through our facial expressions, the tone of our voice, our movement, and the position of our bodies. Young children are very sensitive to these messages and can always feel what we really feel.

• Necessary information

Your son sends you a lot of silent messages expressed by his actions and movements. Make sure that you look him in the eye when you talk to him and that you look at him when he talks to you. Actions speak louder than words when you raise a boy; Make sure to read your son's messages that he sends without speaking.

Your ability to listen well to him will be the most important educational skill during your son's growing years. Here are some suggestions:

• Take some time out of your day to listen. It is okay for you to have a conversation while you are in the car or in the store, but real and correct listening requires time and focus. Your preoccupation, which prevents you from listening, may prevent you from understanding well your son.

• Listen to him patiently. Most parents take the first opportunity to offer suggestions or lecture the child and then ask what the child is saying: “You never listen to me!” You will know how to best help your son if you listen quietly to what he has to say. You can even ask him before you answer: ((Do you want to tell me more?))

• Make sure to look into his eyes. If your son is shorter than you, sit next to him or find a way to get on his level (it's hard to talk comfortably with someone who's watching from above!). Pay attention to your non-verbal messages: Are you smiling? are you staring at it Would you like to be somewhere else?

Be curious. You may not share all of your son's interests or even agree with them, but the first step towards solving problems is understanding, which begins with listening. Encourage your son to share his thoughts, joys, and challenges with you, and be honest about your curiosity rather than being judgmental.

Listening is the best way to enter your son's world and to know the young man he is becoming. You will know how to respond to your growing son better when you listen to him first.